What's the matter with me?

I am eighteen, and I am single. Now, you may say 'Why, I don't see any problem in that.' Well, neither do I. I am happy being single (Trust me!) and I don't sulk over it. But, here's the scoop.

Most of the people I am acquainted with are either committed or dating someone. I see them going out, texting each other all day, whispering sweet nothings, taking pictures and so on. So, I guess sometimes I wonder why I don't have someone to do those same things with (and no, you can't mention my best friend here...'coz it is a completely different context). I have been pondering over this and these are the three explanations I came up with...

1. Maybe I don't look a certain way. Going by popular belief, most guys prefer a pretty girl (as in svelte and fair)...and since I am dusky and chubby, boys don't feel that way about me. Don't get me wrong, I find nothing wrong about the way I look (except maybe my weight) and I really think I am beautiful (I'm kinda self-obsessed); but I guess I have mostly experienced that guys do not look beyond your figure. You just get labeled 'plump' and then there is nothing beyond that. You get 'friend-zoned' and people don't notice you anymore. Now, I can show you a couple of exceptions to this rule. But, exceptions are not examples.

2.I can't bring myself to 'SETTLE' for anyone. I have seen quite a few of my peers get committed to a guy, just because they got proposed. I guess there are certain...(I wouldn't say 'virtues' because some of them are 'vices')...characteristics that I'd like my partner to have, and I just can't settle for any less. Oh, no you guessed it all wrong. It ain't 'tall, dark, handsome Prince Charming out of a fairytale' kind of  thing. I just need to connect with him at an intellectual level. Not that I think I am some big Miss.Smartypants...but I am different than your usual next-door girl. So, the guy for me has to be, well 'unique'. I have been approached by guys who would be readily accepted by other girls...but it didn't work out with me.

3.Sometimes, I feel like I could have been in a relationship if I changed myself in certain ways. I have been told, 'Oh, guys don't like talkative girls' or 'You are just too eccentric' or 'You should lose some weight, no one goes for girls like you' or 'or 'you are so sweet, and childish...but guys like mature girls' and so on. But, somewhere I feel that If I changed myself and became more 'acceptable' I would not be Aamen anymore. I would lose the very things that make me, me. I'd like to work out, for myself...not for becoming more likeable for someone else. I feel that the 'right person' for me,will love me for exactly who I am...no lies and pretensions included.

There, that's the job done. Got it off my chest. I hope I can find the solution to this, soon. :P Until then, adios!

-Aamen.