February Rain

You walked into my life

like the February rain.

It came sudden,

with a fair share of lightning

announcing its descent.

Basking in the pleasant airs

of the retreating winter,

I never knew I needed the rain

until it poured onto me.

It took me up in awe,

every drop resounding in my ears;

a melody so unknown that

it was the sweetest I’d ever heard.

As a persistent breeze

filled in the spaces between

hot flashes and thunderclaps,

I couldn’t help but think of you.

Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen.

Twelve. Thirteen. Fourteen.

She counts them once again;

the broken glass shards on the floor.

A bike whizzes past with a flash.

It is all dark outside now.

She saw the last light across the street

turn off half an hour ago.

Where is he?

Her eyes have run out of tears.

All that remains is a dry stream of saltwater

travelling down her left cheek-

a line stark, yet vulnerable.

What went amiss tonight?

A kiss. A shove. A few angry words.

Her right answers to his wrong questions.

And suddenly, the act was over.

Was it not relief she felt at first?

Guilt quickly followed on its heels though.

He said nothing,

but the proof was in his vacant eyes.

She heard a vase shatter in the next room;

then the front door banged shut.

That was when she knew

she’d broken him.

‘I’ll apologise’, she muses.

But sorry doesn’t sound like enough.

Hunger pangs cringe inside her;

it has been long.

His phone lies on the table,

the memory of some happy day

captured on its wallpaper.

She can only wait now.

Letter to you, good friend

The other day I was looking into the mirror

When I saw you.

Those honest eyes, the very same smile

Heck, the swearing too.

Don’t smile just yet.

Know what? I miss you sometimes.

Like when I need to be myself,

Or even just listen to wind-chimes.      

There’s this thought stuck in my head.

Could incomplete be complete?

Like I see the world without lenses,

With magic, the vision replete!

The first time I entered your home;

Did you hear the doorbell ring that day?

But questions are better than answers.

At least, that’s what I always say.

There are words people will speak,

Muffled voices, silly chatter…

But let’s not get into definitions now,

I guess, the less we know the better.

Because, Good friend…

Tell me if you can do so,

How often does one get it right?

How easy is it to let go?

PS- You can smile now. J

An Ode To My Mother...

I was a newborn

she entwined her fingers with mine

took me to her bosom n made a promise

a promise to nurture me forever

and then she kissed my forehead

I was one

she held up my tiny hands

and made me take my first steps

she cheered for me and shed tears

tears of amazement and pride

I was five

i stood with her in awe of the big gates

feeling like an outsider in an alien world

she assured me that she would wait,while I wept

as she let go of me for the first time

I was ten

I tripped on a stone and cut myself

she rushed to me,beads of sweat on her forehead

I could see my pain reflected in her eyes

eyes that sparkled with love and concern

I was thirteen

I'd newly discovered the rebel in me

I was experiencing the tumults of the years

as she watched me grow from a child to a teenager

she smiled to herself in silent amusement

I was fifteen

in her i found a shoulder to cry on

she was my rock and my weakness

we fought and joked and went all crazy

creating memories that we would laugh at later

I am seventeen now

she is my best friend,my guide

the keeper of my darkest secrets

my refuge in times of agony

she is the one who puts a smile on my face

she is my MOTHER.

-Aamen.

Fuck off!

Do you remember...

it seems just like yesterday

the wound is still so fresh

throbbing with pain,

so much...that it drowns the rest of my senses.

Come on,don't pretend...

like you understand,

'coz I know you don't!

So cut the crap-

love was just another excuse

for you to see me cry.

Don't even bother,boy

to apologize,

it doesn't matter anymore.

Just move away,

I don't need you like

I needed you before.

Go suck her face if you want to,

but don't expect me to go green with jealousy...

'coz I've gotten over you

just like a teenager gets over acne...

You don't figure in the scene anymore,

so FUCK OFF!

---• » Aamen.

Whenever...

 Whenever you smile at me,

I fall in love again,head over heels...

Whenever you say a funny joke,

I can't help myself,from laughing in peals...

Whenever you call my name,

I yearn to hear it,100 times over again...

Whenever you hold my hand,

I don't find a reason with God,to complain...

Whenever you look in my eyes,

the world seems to have no lies,

Whenever you say,'I love you'

I wish you'd say it forever,I do.

---• » Aamen.

I wish you'd love me too...

Have you ever thought

how much you mean to me?

Can you ever feel

my pain and agony?

Did you ever love

someone the way I do?

Will you ever know

that I'm the one for you?

So tell me,

Are you so immune

to all the tears that flood up my eyes?

Are you satisfied,

with all the pretense and all the lies?

Did you ever try,to ask yourself why

I still love u...

I don't care if I have to pay the price

I just wish you'd love me too...

---• » Aamen.

Till I met you...

My life was a big black hole

everyday felt like doomsday

there was no-one that could console

my troubled mind in any way

But then you came along

and I was reincarnated

now I know where I belong

its worth the while I waited

You defy all my expectations

maybe you're more than I deserve

when I'm with you,it feels like gravitation

perhaps this time its true love

So now...

I've come to the conclusion

that I was in total delusion

that everything was an illusion

till I met you...

---• » Aamen.

I'm Okay...

I trod the silent shores,

of vile thoughts and dark sorrows,

that gather round my memory...

Life feels like a tiresome chore,

with my world thrown into uproar,

while I try to hold on to sanity...

The future is a blurry haze,

the past burns in an incessant blaze,

I don't even know when is today...

Loneliness pounces on me like its prey,

the world I see is all shades of grey,

but I still keep saying,'I'm okay'...

---• » Aamen.

Love is Painful...

I've made up my mind,
been thinkin about this...for a long time
I've tried to convince myself
that we're doin quite well,
but I don't think I can carry on,
'coz I can feel the spark...is just gone.
I neva thought it would,
turn out to be of no good...
coz I thought I loved you,
but i know now that...it ain't true.

I'm tired of,
bein what you want me to...
I've had enough,
of stepping in your shoes...
neva thought dat love,
could be painful too...

Don't get me wrong here,
But all the numbness...is hard to bear
I've tried my very best
but it still got messed,
I can't think of anythin
to make it all right...over again.
so we've gotta go separate ways,
for the rest of our days...
there'll be no regrets, see,
'coz I'm doin this for...You and Me.

BECAUSE...
I'm tired of,
bein what you want me to...
I've had enough,
of stepping in your shoes...
neva thought dat love,
could be painful too...

---• » Aamen.

I don't give a damn!

I'm not the coolest girl on the block,
I'm not the face that stops the clock,
But I get all the jeers in stock,
and I don't give a damn!

I'm not a pretty cheerleader,
I don't possess a Porsche car,
But I'm what you would call 'bizarre',
and I don't give a damn!

I don't go by the latest trends,
I may not have a million friends,
But I'm not the one who pretends,
and I don't give a damn!

I may be a dork, a geek, a nerd-
You may think I'm somewhat absurd,
But I make my opinions heard....
I'm what I am and I don't give a DAMN!

---• » Aamen.

Reverie...

Many a day has come and gone,
from the autumn's twilight to the winter's morn,
from the first blush of the sun at dawn,
to its scorching blaze and midday scorn.

The winding path round the wood.
meets the bubbling water of the stream,
the barny owl's in a drowsy mooda,
ready to doze off and dream.

The fiery sun has left its bed,
shining with all its might,
the little robin,in search of bread-
is ready for its flight.

The soothing cool northern breeze,
whispers in my ears,
the lore of the forgotten kingdom,
of its smiles and its tears.

---• » Aamen.

Someday...

Someday I’ll go dance a pirouette,

Wearing a black suit and a tie.

Sitting back, I often wonder...

How many times did Pinocchio lie?

Someday the trees will all be pink,

And candy floss bright green.

That day I will go to Wonderland,

And spend the day with Mr. Bean.

Someday I’ll get a seat on a meteor,

And make a trip across the Milky Way!

Glitter bugs will fill my skylight,

And night will become day.

Someday you’ll know that love can move a mountain,

Someday you’ll know that my love is true,

Someday you’ll know…

That I was the one for you..!

---• » Aamen.

(Inspired by the song "someday you'll know" by Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman)

Paranoia...

The fake smile...

The pretense in my eyes...

What a good act I put up.

Are you so blind?

The pain builds up...

like layers of soil-

one upon the other,

hardening as the time passes by..

I desperately try to bear it.

Is it too much to ask from myself?

How long will it take-

for me to become paranoid?

But I see one pretty sight,

the silver lining on the cloud...

hoping that it will end soon,

that this shroud of paranoia will finally fade...

---• » Aamen.

Nothingness...

Can you not see?

When you stand before me,

the faint glimmer in my eyes...

hungry for something it can never claim for itself.

A dark Nothingness engulfs my senses,

all I feel is your absence...pulsing through my veins,

I feel it in my heart.

I feel it in my soul.

I feel it in my entire existence.

Everything has disappeared,

it seems...as if I am unconscious.

I cannot decipher the language my heart speaks,

or understand the tunes that it plays.

How long can I hold on...

to this imaginary rope?

How much can my heart withstand...

till it breaks into shards?

Do you not see?

Every time I smile,

the pain reflects in my eyes...

Me desperately trying to camouflage it.

Walking alone on the path of broken dreams,

I feel something in my heart-

PAIN? LOVE? AGONY? ECSTASY? HOPE?

Or is it just the NOTHINGNESS?

---• » Aamen.