Character designs for ASOIAF- Part 1

Sansa Stark:

In Winterfell- I wanted to portray Sansa's naivete through her eyes, which are sharp blue like her mother's. For her original Winterfell look, I tried to incorporate both Stark and Tully colors, because she is such a perfect amalgamation of those two cultures. I went with a dark teal blue velvet gown over a lighter teal textured kirtle, and wrapped it up with a light gray woollen cloak secured with a silver brooch. The cuts of the dress are simple to match with the austerity of the North. Her auburn hair is left loose with a few draped braids that gives an elven flair to her look. 

At King's Landing- I wanted Sansa's look in the Red Keep to stand in stark contrast to her earlier style. Although the fabric is now silk brocade, the gown is figure hugging, the neckline is fancier, the sleeves are much longer, and she wears earrings, Sansa still tries to incorporate some authenticity into the outfit. So the color is blue (albeit a bright royal blue) and the dress has lace piping in pale grey. She has a braided high bun with open locks in the style of the court ladies, but she adds a draped braid in front as a nod to her heritage. 

In the Vale- As Alayne, Sansa's style takes a turn, due to the disguise she has to put on and her impending puberty. Her hair is dyed brown and in a hairstyle that juxtaposes childishness and maturity. As her body grows, her neckline also dips slightly and she dons simpler gowns as befits a bastard. The colour of her gown is a subtle nod to her realising her subconscious desires for Sandor, whose house colours are yellow, and she accessorizes it with a simple thread necklace.

Arya Stark:

In Winterfell- Arya looks more distinctly Stark and I wanted to dress her to match her eye and house colour. She wears a dark grey corseted surcoat over a pale grey kirtle and drapes a fur trimmed charcoal cape over it. She also wears her open hair with some braided accents, but hers is more cropped than Sansa's.

In Braavos- As Cat of the Canals, she wears her hair in two top buns in the Braavosi style. Her blouse, corseted waistcoat and skirt are all in shades of beige and brown to reflect the setting. I love that she still looks very much a Stark.

   

Catelyn Stark:

At Winterfell- Similar to Sansa, I wanted Catelyn to also embrace both sides of her identity and incorporate grays and blues into her wardrobe. I dressed her in a dark blue woollen dress, in the style of the Riverlands, but trimmed in gray fur to keep the cold at bay. Her red hair is fully braided, which is how I think adult women in the North wear their hair, and she wears a silver chain with a moonstone pendant to complete her outfit.

Daenerys Targaryen:

With the Dothraki- I wanted Daenerys to have a uniquely beautiful face and piercing violet eyes. She wears the Dothraki vest and skirt made from something like raw linen, and her hair is beautifully braided in their style. She has not asserted her own identity yet.

In Qarth- Here she can dress a bit more lavishly so she chooses a beautiful lilac silk gown that matches her eyes perfectly. Her gown and hairdo are both Qarthian in style, because she is trying to fit in to their culture so she can get what she wants from them.

In Mereen- Once she becomes the Queen of Mereen, and her dragons are grown enough she gradually embraces her true Targaryen nature. She is dressed here in a oxblood gown with black leather accents, that looks stunning against her pale white skin and hair, and also harks to her house colours. A spiked torque necklace and silver crown encrusted with garnets complete her regal outfit. I love how she looks like a innocent child and fierce ruler all at once. 

Arianne Martell:

At Sunspear- Keeping Dorne in mind, I thought of incorporating rich jewel tones and lightweight fabrics into Arianne's look. I went with purple, which along with the gold accents in her jewellery creates a royal aesthetic. I gave her Hispanic/South Asian features, and the flowy cut-out sleeves with the half up-half down messy hairstyle embodies the free-spirited nature of the Dornish people.

Cersei Lannister:

In King's Landing- Red and gold feature prominently in Cersei's wardrobe, and she dresses in an opulent fashion as befits her position as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. She wears a layered silk gown with a corseted waist, oversleeves and a brocade surcoat over a voluminous skirt. I chose angular features for her face to emphasize her ruthlessness, added gold and ruby jewellery and an exaggerated updo to give her a commanding presence.

Brienne of Tarth:

In the Riverlands- I wanted  to preserve Brienne's innocence in her countenance even though she is a soldier. I gave her short blonde hair, freckles and a stubby nose to make her look plain. She wears her chainmail and an engraved breastplate over a tunic and britches, with a leather belt to carry her pouch and knife. In her hand is Oathkeeper, given to her by Jaime. 

Margaery Tyrell:

In the Reach- I wanted Margaery's style to be slightly flirty and feminine to reflect her personality. She wears a shoulder baring cambric kirtle underneath a embroidered velvet bustier overskirt, and sleeve ties. Her hair is also kept mostly open because she is young, and she wears gold and emerald earrings to compliment her outfit.

Ygritte:

Beyond the Wall- I tried to emphasize Ygritte's unkempt and wild beauty, especially with that bright fire coloured hair. She wears a simple woollen dress that has grayed with wear, and tops it with a patched animal hide and fur cloak, and braided rope belt.

Melisandre:

On Dragonstone- I wanted Melisandre to look racially different from the rest because she comes from Essos. The fire priestess wears an off the shoulder gown and long sleeves that emphasizes her seductive and mysterious nature. The blood red of the gown compliments her even redder hair. At her neck is her magical ruby choker that preserves her eternal youth. 

Missandei:

In Mereen- Being from the island of Naath, Missandei also looks racially distinct from the rest. After leaving Astapor and becoming a close confidante to Daenerys, she now dresses appropriately for her position. Her hair is styled traditionally in the style of her homeland and she wears a suede and linen dress with oversleeves and an underbust vest in shades of bluish gray. She also wears one dangly earring as her people often do.

Lyanna Stark:

In Winterfell- I gave young Lyanna very similar features to Arya with longer hair. She is dressed for a casual day of playing with her brothers in a dark gray woolen dress in the loose Northern style with a belted blue overskirt and pale gray feather mantle.  

All characters were created using the Rinmaru medieval woman dress up game: https://rinmarugames.org/medieval-woman-dress-up-game/

Culinary imaginations about a Song of Ice and Fire

I have long since been fascinated by the rich history and lore of the ASOIAF series by George R R Martin, based on which the popular show Game of Thrones was created. Taking inspiration from the wonderfully curated blog Inn at the Crossroads, which re-imagines the kind of food the characters might be eating in the books, both from book-canon quotes by the author and a whole lot of informed imagination, I have come up with my own version of the same. Below, I'll enlist what in my opinion are the foods that are popular in different regions of Westeros, or are loved by particular characters.

A feast in Winterfell:

The feast would begin with a basin of chestnut soup with ryemeal loaves and wheels of aged sheep’s milk cheese to accompany it. Since I imagine the North to be like the Scottish/Norwegian country, albeit colder, it would be followed by mains of hot smoked side of salmon, whole spit roasted elk with root vegetables soaked in its drippings, and bowls of sour cabbage. Steamed suet puddings filled with an assortment of mutton, kidney, liver, mushrooms and oysters would then be brought out and doused in generous ladles of gravy. For sweet treats there would be baked apples stuffed to the brim with honeyed walnuts, lusciously crimson cherry pie and sticky ginger cake with sweet cream. The guests would drink themselves on mulled summerwine brought out for the occasion, fragrant with cinnamon and anise, while the truest of the Northmen would stick only to dark brown beer to quench their thirst.

Dining with Queen Cersei:

I imagine that Cersei likes her food fancy, eclectic and decadent. Her meal would begin with a creamed soup of capon with saffron and slivered almonds, freshly caught oysters and pink shrimp from the bay with lemon, and a salad with berries, crumbled salty cheese and pistachios. Gracing the table would be a roast goose with a sticky apricot glaze on a bed of leeks and wild rice. After a golden pigeon pie laced with spices, sweetgrass and dried fruit, she would end her supper with wine jellies and  marchpane confections. I hope it is very obvious that no meal with Cersei is complete without a goblet or two of rich claret.

Fisherman's meal in the Stony Shore:

The North has a number of fishing villages where I suppose the poorfolk feed on preserved fish a lot. I imagine a typical meal to consist of stews flavored with fish, and bulked up with grains or root vegetables to be more filling. For example, salt cod and clam broth with barley, or smoked haddock soup with neeps and seaweed. Pickled herrings on black bread would be a staple for them too. 

Sandor Clegane's ideal meal:

In my headcanon, Sandor prefers his meals to be unpretentious and substantial, but not peasant-like either. Meat on the bone like ale braised lamb shanks or crispy pork knuckle, served over mashed turnips and kale would be sure to warm the cockles of his heart. Game hens roasted on an open fire would cater to both his Hound persona and his affection for his little bird. All he needs is a side of wholemeal bread smeared with bone marrow to go with it, drowned in a flagon of sour red wine.

Road trip through the Riverlands:

While riding through the woods, Arya and the Hound would have to survive mostly on wood sorrel, strayberries and tree nuts. If they were lucky then they would trap a scrawny hare or two in their snares, or perhaps even a fat wood pheasant. On the occasion they came across a sleepy little village, they could fill up their stocks with foods that would last them long- oatcakes, pickled eggs, brined marrow, potted ham and sharp yellow cheese. Some apples for Stranger and perhaps a skin of weak ale too. 

Dornish lunch with Arianne Martell:

Arianne sits down to her meal in the tower. There is flatbread and tangy goat’s curd, whipped with herbs and garlic. She picks from a lavish spread of aubergines stuffed with browned shallots, pine nuts and raisins, skewers of fiery lamb meatballs cooked on embers, minted chickpea and cracked wheat salad, and river bream stewed with lemons, olives and sweet peppers. She ends her meal with a few of her favorite date and pistachio pastries and a chalice of pomegranate wine.

A typical dinner at Castle Black:

While the Lord Commander might be dining on roasted legs of mutton, stuffed pheasants and spiced pork pies, the average brother of the Night's Watch survives on simpler meals. Bone broth simmered with beets, parsnips and leeks. Salt pork stewed with cabbage and leeks. Boiled beef and carrots. Pottage with mince, offal and oats. Occasionally there might be a ham hock, cheese and egg pie. No matter the dish of the day, numerous loaves of black bread are always present on the table, ready to be slathered with pig's lard and scoffed with ample amounts of bitter beer.

Breaking fast with Arya Stark:

Although Sansa prefers a warming bowl of honeyed oat porage with walnuts and stewed plums, brambles or apples for her morning meal, Arya leans towards something more savory to break her fast. The serving wench usually brings her slices of buttered toast, a couple of coddled duck’s eggs, crumbed mackerel and some kind of meat- crispy black pudding, fried gammon steak or streaky bacon- with a cup of pale lager. But on the days that she has a hankering for something sweet, she shares her shortbread, redcurrant preserves and mint tea with Sansa.

Midday meal in the Red Keep:

I imagine Sansa in her happier days, relishing in the warmth of the Keep and eating from a spread of dainty dishes. Olives green and black, marinated artichokes, crumbled moldy cheese, thin slices of cured ham, wildflower honey and flaky bread along with spiced almonds, plump figs, bloodmelons and Arbor gold wine.

Sansa Stark’s name day supper:

Her meal commences with a warm carrot soup served with cheese bread. In honor of her lady mother, Sansa has asked for trout on a bed of bacon and pease. And in memory of Sandor, his little bird has requested for honeyed quail stuffed with sausage, chestnuts and dried currants, served with buttered wild mushrooms. Finishing the meal are succulent lemon cakes, mead poached pears and amber wine.

A table laid at Highgarden:

The Tyrells would put all the fruits of their spring harvest on display at their table. Sweet pea and basil soup, rolls of soft white bread with saffron butter, salads of fennel borage radish purplebeets and oranges, spinach and cheese galettes, roast capons with red grapes and verjuice, whole suckling pig with crackling skin, venison pie, stewed rhubarb with cream, peach rose tarts, and sparkling pink wine with the essence of elderflower.

Tyrion Lannister's ultimate feast:

Tyrion is a bit of a misfit, but a privileged one at that. I suppose he fancies foods that are erotic, acquired tastes or steeped in wine. He would go with garlic buttered snails for their aphrodisiac nature and spiced boar sausages with sweet mustard as a reference to his own member. Because he can afford it, there would be lamprey pie, roasted game birds, and hare stewed in wine with small onions and mushrooms with sourloaf to soak up the juices. I suspect he doesn't have much of a sweet tooth, but wouldn't mind some baked cheese and medlar jelly washed down with a jug of Dornish strongwine. 

Snacking in Winterfell:

When she is feeling a bit peckish, Sansa sometimes asks her handmaiden to bring some seed bread to eat with creamy ripe cheese, quince paste and sweet icewine. Arya often wanders into the kitchen where she helps herself to chestnuts roasted over the hearth.

Margaery's garden lunch:

Margaery usually eats with her grandmother from an array of small plates laden on their garden table. There is always a pitcher of sweet lavender mead present, along with dishes such as garlic rubbed bread, scrambled eggs with green onions, minted lamb cutlets, spring rabbit stew with asparagus, artichokes and fava beans, or mince crescent pies. The meal however is never complete without scones and some rose petal jam.

Inn at the Crossroads:

Besides his wolf bread and kidney pie, Hot Pie is also known for his beef stew with dumplings. There is always mutton, ham and chicken turning on the spit, for those who can spare more gold than the average peasant. For the poorfolk, pottage simmers on the stove, brimming with bits and ends of meats, vegetables and grains. Ale, bread, hard cheese, boiled eggs and cured sausages are also sold for people to take on their journeys ahead. 

The Chocolate Box

Nira was sitting in her cubicle going over an excel sheet, when the peon came and gave her the package. Clumsily wrapped in blue, it had a small "Sorry" note stuck to it. Almost a week had passed since her fight with him. With much anticipation, she peeled off the paper and opened the box. 
Nira let out a mild chuckle, that reduced to a happy drop in the corner of her eye. They were seashells made of chocolate; six seashells, each a different shape and color. She picked up the one that looked like a mussel, and put it in her mouth. Rich dark chocolate met her tongue, as she rolled it over before taking a bite. Cherry gelee flooded her with surprise! She could wait no more; each shell seemed like a lost conversation in the last six days. One by one she took a shell and plopped it in- a conch shell with streaks of white, milk and dark chocolate, a crooked oyster shell that hid a pearl of a hazelnut within, caramel filled cockle shells, and even a milk chocolate snail shell with a rum center. 
The last one was a pristine white shell, wide and flat with ridges like that of a scallop. As she lifted it she saw a small note beneath. "Call me", it said. Nira let her taste buds dance to the final flourish of white chocolate and coconut cream as she wiped away the tears and dialed his number.

Chulhe ki daal

Kashi filled her dented old aluminium pot with a handful of yellow lentils, water and salt. She scraped off the papery skin of a withered ginger root and grated a fingertip worth of it into the pot. The mud stove burnt low, so she poked about in the timber sack. A couple of twigs were all that was left. She needed more or the bread would not be made for dinner. By the time Kashi returned with the firewood she'd fetched from the forest, the fire had burnt out into cinders, and the lentils had been simmering for about two hours. With her wooden paddle she whipped the yellowness until it was smooth. 
The dough was being kneaded when  Raghu came back with his bullock cart. Kashi slapped each ball of dough between her palms until they resembled thin discs and then she baked them over the open fire which now crackled with renewed mirth. When Raghu put the first morsel of daal dipped chapati into his mouth, he almost exclaimed with pleasure. He didn't need the heat of a chilly or the pungency of a raw onion to make his meagre meal palatable that night. He ate quietly, relishing the creaminess of the lentils and the smokiness of the bread as they blended on his tongue in a mysterious communion. Throughout the years to come, Kashi would often be questioned as to what made the lentils so special that night.

Random questionnaire about food and other things

favourite thing about winter?   being able to wear my hair open.

about spring,   the cheerful weather.

summer,   the storms (and mangoes).

and autumn?   pujo: bangalir shera parbon.

what won’t you eat?    weird meat like bat or dog or iguana.

my most memorable meal?   fried fish on a nouka on the Chilka lake.

favourite object in your kitchen?    my knives, and the mortar and pestle.

what are you scared of in the kitchen?  baking.

black or white?   black.

sweet or salty?   sweet, salty and spicy.

chocolate or vanilla?   vanilla.

hot or mild?   mildly hot.

favourite dough?    croissant dough.

favorite herb?   cilantro.

favourite method of cooking?  braising.

do you prefer to cook alone or with others?   with just another person.

what do you crave for coming home at 6 o’ clock in the morning?   sleep.

what is your favorite thing to do in the kitchen?  slice. chop. dice. 

what is the perfect food to take into bed?  Hot chocolate.

which country would you like to travel to for the food?   italy, spain or japan.

what is your favourite table décor?   mason jars and bottles of condiments.

your favorite food reference in literature?   making irish stew in ‘three men on a boat’.

if you were a fruit or a vegetable, what would you be?   a sweet potato.

what is your everyday breakfast?   wholegrain cereal with milk (wish it was muesli).

what is ideal for a sunday dinner?   hearty one-pot meals like cassoulet, gumbo, chili or khichdi.

one celebrity chef you really connect to?   jamie oliver.

the trick to good entertaining?   keep the food easy and participative like tacos, antipasto, or steamboat.

one cuisine you think is really interesting?   modern australian.

what bugs you about the food industry?   being too chefy about everything.

do you have a bedtime treat or a nightcap?   chanachur.

a flavor combination you adore?   black pepper-caramel. 

your favourite food?  fish. fuchka. vanilla. tomato. kfc. dark chocolate. bitter gourd.

food you would like to taste?   ramen. octopus. mole. prosciutto. feta. paella.

your food philosophy?  food is best when home-cooked, fresh, simple, balanced and special.

where would you like to live? the countryside.  on a farm.            

countries you’d like to travel to? spain, italy, iceland, kenya, australia, france, egypt, malaysia, bangladesh and indonesia.

How to dress as a graduate student

Grad student outfits of a week by portrait-of-a-girl 

Well I was trying to figure out how to dress as a graduate student, so I compiled a set of outfits to help myself. This is obviously based on my style preferences, but it takes into consideration the dress codes that a graduate student should swear by. For example, modest clothing, closed shoes, nothing too flashy.

1. This is a simple outfit with a black t-shirt paired with acid wash denims. Olive green is a very "in" color now, so I added a jacket in that shade. Also the flat ankle booties are super cool. A simple black and white tote, a watch and some eyeglasses complete the look.

2. This one has a preppier feel to it with a cream printed collared blouse and a luxe maroon pleated skirt. Tights add the necessary demureness but with a fun polka print. Brown oxfords and satchel bag are simple and elegant. Paired with a mustard cocoon cardigan, bib necklace and band ring this look is complete.

3. I love a simple knit sweater to brave the cold, especially when it is in a lovely pastel hue. Teamed with printed trousers and white ankle booties and a white infinity scarf, it creates a comfy outfit. A pastel colored bucket bag, stone ring and eyeglasses are the perfect accessories to wrap up this look.

4. For the flirty woman in you, try this nude belted skater dress which is simply paired up with a contrasting coat. Gray tights keep the legs warm with a cheeky dash of romance with the red hearts. Coral flats and a black saddle bag are all you need to finish this look.

5. Look effortlessly chic in boyfriend jeans and a gray pocket tee by throwing over a printed blazer over it. A layered metal necklace, and stacking rings pimp up the style quotient, whilst ombre sneakers make it more work appropriate. A cream oval handbag completes this look.

Mixing it up in the morning

Breakfast can be convenient to skip if you're in a hurry to head out to school or work, but finding recipes that are quick and easy to make, can be a blessing. For all the people who are not lucky to be employed in a high-paying job, dishes need to be cheap but filling. Although I am not saying that bacon and hash browns are not tasty, healthier options are obviously much better for you and your waistline. But the 'deliciousness' factor is easily the most important for me, because a yummy bite in the morning can give you a cheerful mood to start the day. Here are five of my favorite breakfast ideas.

Granola and yogurt parfait:

Make your own granola by mixing oats with maple syrup/honey/agave and some melted butter and microwaving it on medium for 5 mins. I like add-ins like: chopped almonds, desiccated coconut, dried cranberries or cinnamon. Layer unsweetened greek yogurt and granola in a bowl with fresh fruit- I love berries- and gobble.

Overnight oatmeal:

Oats are probably the rulers in the quick and healthy breakfast world. Just mix oats, milk, maple syrup/honey/agave, chia seeds and vanilla in a container and keep it in the fridge overnight. You can add in flavors like- cocoa powder, peanut butter, jam, spices- too. In the morning it will be a delicious pudding consistency. Top with fruit, nuts, or anything you fancy. Then apply to face. 

Savory oatmeal with egg:

Cook oatmeal in water. Season generously. Add in chopped fresh stuff- herbs, scallions, tomato, jalapenos; and other flavors like soy sauce, curry powder, hot sauce, soup base, chinese seasoning etc. Leftover vegetables and cheese can also be thrown in. Top it off with a egg and poach it in the same pan. Sprinkle over some herbs before stuffing it down your gob. Also can be made with polenta or quinoa.

Egg tostada with salsa:

In a lightly greased pan, toast a plain tortilla. Turn it over and crack an egg on it, then season well. Add any chopped herbs like cilantro, chives or scallions. Take it out on a plate and top it with chunky salsa and a dollop of yogurt. You can also add jalapenos, black beans, avocados or cheese if you'd like to before praising the heavens for such a delicious bite. This can also be done on a pita bread.

Cottage cheese bruschetta:

Toast sliced bread. Mix cottage cheese with salt/pepper or honey depending on whether you want it savory or sweet. Spread on toasted bread and top with slices of whatever you want. Tomato, onion or peas would be good for a savory bite and berries, banana or mango would be a good sweet option. Top with chopped mint or basil. Toasted flax seeds would go great on this too. 

I have never wanted anything so much

That probably sounds like the prelude to a lover's dilemma, but I assure you this is far less exciting. In my twenty-two year old life I have wanted to be a traveller, I have wanted a vintage campervan, I have wanted to open my own food truck and I have wanted to get married in a Sabyasachi creation; but I have never wanted anything more than getting an admit to a PhD program in the States.

Now, this screams out for some introduction to my academic background. I have a B.Tech in Biotechnology from an average institute under an average university in India, but fortunately a number of my seniors are admitted to PhD programs in the US, so that was a relief. My grades were above average (but nothing more) throughout college, and I did not manage to get half-decent internships for myself. No IAS admits, no Bose Institute or anything. You needed a more aligned write-up and a less biased recommendation for the former, whereas a well-placed 'connection' in the field was a prerequisite for the latter. 

I settled for internships in a cancer hospital and a once prestigious but currently dilapidated institution in the city. Both were obtained by talking to the respective guides and requesting them for a position. I wouldn't say they were bullshit, because I did learn many things, but they were as basic as can be. In a time where my classmates performed DNA cloning and published scientific papers, I counted cell colonies on petriplates. It is funny how fate fucks you up. The teacher who advised you against the college-endorsed internships probably was unaware that they were pretty good (excuse me, DNA cloning!), and when he asked you to apply to CGCRI he surely didn't care that you absolutely detest biomaterial science. But then, maybe I was being too choosy. Anyway, I took it all in a stride and made the best out of it. 

The story of my undergraduate project is even funnier. So, I am assigned to the only mentor proclaimed by the seniors to be evil (so un-fucking-lucky) and she puts me on a project that she knows nothing about. Well played, fate, well played. I buckled up and took help from the professor who knew something about the topic and worked on it alone. It wouldn't be fair if I did not mention my senior who helped me so much with it. Well, drug design and virtual screening sound real fancy-schmancy on paper, but when you have to do it alone under a guide who can give you no advice, having such a senior definitely was a plus. So I managed to learn it and presented a well-rounded thesis, which I didn't have to defend because none of the professors (excluding my guide) knew what I was talking about. And keep in mind I did it by myself, compared to the rest of my classmates who worked in groups of two or more. Not saying it was a commendable task, but just saying.

By this time, I was super-focused on applying to USA for my higher studies. I was still oscillating between MS and PhD, but I'd given my tests and got good-enough/pretty-good scores in them (depending on who you ask). Due to my lack of awareness about the time the university takes to issue transcripts (two and a half months to be exact) and my laziness (read: inexplicable dread) in writing an SOP, and a sudden family trip to Africa (that I was unwilling to join); I was unable to apply for Fall 2015. I had already been offered a job in a top IT company, and my GATE rank was pretty-good/great (depending on who you ask) too. Joining the job was out of the question since I was all for graduate studies, and I didn't want to let go of my dream to study abroad either. So I formulated the perfect plan. I would apply again for PhD programs only, this time making sure everything was appropriate, and in the meantime I would continue my project work to make it publication-worthy material. The GATE score would be my plan B to get into an M.Tech program in case this didn't work out (touch-wood!).

The project work progressed steadily but considerably slower than I had anticipated. I joined a consulting agency in hopes of assistance in applying. Let's just say they had as much knowledge as I had. So I did the applications by myself. Oh, yes they edited my SOP once, but I rewrote it in seven different ways for seven different schools. And well, everything did not go that smoothly anyway. I messed up a couple of things but the admissions coordinators were very helpful in correcting them. I was more than glad when I finished with my applications (which was a week ago, but only one recommendation is pending). Speaking of recommendations, I took them from my project guides (the fake one I was assigned to, and the real one from whom I took all the help) and our departmental head. Although I hope they wrote good stuff about me (hoping this much from project guides is not foolish, is it?) I never asked them specifically about it, so I cannot say. I can only speak for my performance which I think was good enough for them to recommend me favorably for a research position. I am far from stupid, I am hard-working, I am lazy but I always keep deadlines, and I work well on my own as well as in a team. *These are just some things they could possibly write in a recommendation, IMHO*

Since it matters, I'll mention that I presented this work at a conference in an IIT, but it was nowhere in comparison to the other posters presented there. I realised how insignificant my work was (although it was significant where I was coming from), and decided that I would get even more dejected if I focused on the negative things. FYI, I will also orally present it at another conference in February.

Now that I have filled in all the details, let's move on to why I'm even writing this post. I am not going to pretend that I did not have a USA-fantasy like every other kid in the country, but it is not the only reason why I want this so much. USA is one of the top destinations to pursue a research career in Biomedical sciences, and that is exactly where I want to be. I do realise that I may seem deluded or over-ambitious. But I took a risk and I'll live through it. I'm definitely not the most illustrious student, I do not boast of an impressive research experience, and I do not have any publications either (hopefully I'll have one soon). Yet, I wanted to pursue my graduate studies in the States, that too a PhD. It did not have to be top-notch, but I wasn't for settling for the bottom rung either. A program where I could do research on a topic that meant something to me...that's what I was looking for. 

I shortlisted my universities based on where my seniors were admitted to (I compared my profile to theirs and applied to schools with lower ranking). But I did not want to compromise on the research topic. I mean, I could not work on plant ecology for five years of my life! 

It will seem laughable to some that I am being this snobbish about my choices, but you get only one life. I should not commit to something I cannot fulfill. I may not have had the opportunity to show my perseverance earlier, but is it not about what I can do in the future than what I haven't done in the past? One thing I know is I am committed to doing this, working my ass off to see my dream come true.

Some people have reviewed my profile and predicted I would not get an admit, while some others told me that I would. Some suggested I speak to prospective research guides, but I never got a reply. Maybe I have no idea how to approach them. In other places, people advised strongly against contacting professors before admission. Between the support from my family, the doubt of my professors, the fake assurance of acquaintances and the discouragement of others...it has been a difficult ride. And it will be for the next three months until I know for sure if I get an admit or not. But I want nothing more than this, because this is what will shape my life forever. It will be the first domino which sets off the entire phenomenon in motion. I have big dreams, that I always hoped were achievable. But now my hope is wavering, but I'll keep my faith in God and myself. Yes, there is a good chance that I may be rejected by every school. But I'll keep hoping that I get at least one admit.